somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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