where am i from again
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
