If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
