oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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