I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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