Don't you send me to vm
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
