Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
