Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
