i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
