He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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