Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
