Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
A+ Viking dick
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
