Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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