what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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