her vagine was all disorganized.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
