do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize