The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
