If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
