so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
