Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Who said anything about talking that was a booty call

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  (313): Who said anything about talking that was a booty call http://tfl.nu/p4qu
  Replies (1) Good night (2248) Bad night (1053)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.

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  (630): The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum. http://tfl.nu/5o8q
  Replies (9) Good night (4573) Bad night (949)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome

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  (405): I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome http://tfl.nu/rn4a
  Replies (7) Good night (4865) Bad night (702)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink

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  (210): I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink http://tfl.nu/9ici
  Replies (9) Good night (8264) Bad night (1420)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  omg. MEgabus. stoned.

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Theres these two guys talking.

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  (815): omg. MEgabus. stoned. (815): Theres these two guys talking. http://tfl.nu/fp55
  Replies (12) Good night (1404) Bad night (760)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?

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  (801): When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married? http://tfl.nu/a2v4
  Replies (10) Good night (3705) Bad night (785)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.

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  (570): Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear. http://tfl.nu/m0op
  Replies (14) Good night (2077) Bad night (606)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.

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  (816): Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines. http://tfl.nu/u22h
  Replies (1) Good night (1503) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?

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  (662): Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!? http://tfl.nu/mo9h
  Replies (4) Good night (1144) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines

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  (901): Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines http://tfl.nu/paji
  Replies (10) Good night (841) Bad night (452)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao

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  (214): Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao http://tfl.nu/k098
  Replies (5) Good night (1098) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.

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  (610): The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly. http://tfl.nu/cjbh
  Replies (3) Good night (670) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.

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  (417): I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana. http://tfl.nu/djzp
  Replies (0) Good night (405) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.

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  (512): He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming. http://tfl.nu/1x16
  Replies (1) Good night (1069) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas

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  (941): I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas http://tfl.nu/h4sx
  Replies (1) Good night (302) Bad night (161)

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