Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
