Texts From Last Night

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  (775): View more from Nevada

  My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.

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  (775): My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication. http://tfl.nu/hfzx
  Replies (38) Good night (823) Bad night (2549)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.

  (1-931): View more from Tennessee

  Wtf? What happened?

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.

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  (931): Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other. (1-931): Wtf? What happened? (931): Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home. http://tfl.nu/q0zo
  Replies (42) Good night (17979) Bad night (1207)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.

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  (617): And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today. http://tfl.nu/vsrl
  Replies (7) Good night (4141) Bad night (888)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy

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  (517): if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy http://tfl.nu/rglc
  Replies (22) Good night (5084) Bad night (1852)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.

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  (504): He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life. http://tfl.nu/mz8p
  Replies (7) Good night (3644) Bad night (956)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes

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  (801): Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes http://tfl.nu/lgb8
  Replies (4) Good night (4162) Bad night (1038)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.

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  (317): If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation. http://tfl.nu/ifsj
  Replies (12) Good night (5043) Bad night (1920)
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  (415): View more from California

  I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.

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  (415): I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice. http://tfl.nu/3g7h
  Replies (13) Good night (3178) Bad night (983)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.

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  (912): I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars. http://tfl.nu/3pqt
  Replies (2) Good night (1353) Bad night (796)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.

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  (307): i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl. http://tfl.nu/csya
  Replies (15) Good night (3072) Bad night (1062)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....

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  (540): I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name.... http://tfl.nu/37ao
  Replies (8) Good night (1325) Bad night (3494)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.

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  (615): Please high five our old drug dealer for me please. http://tfl.nu/fpo5
  Replies (2) Good night (1741) Bad night (769)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do

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  (734): If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do http://tfl.nu/wpum
  Replies (7) Good night (1338) Bad night (398)
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  (315): View more from New York

  We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?

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  (315): We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like? http://tfl.nu/ue3p
  Replies (1) Good night (774) Bad night (265)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?

  (309): View more from Illinois

  probably

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  (217): Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes? (309): probably http://tfl.nu/mhkm
  Replies (2) Good night (440) Bad night (277)

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