youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
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SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
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This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.