i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.