You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.