the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
These tits shall not be calmed
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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