That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
