I wanna bring you to show and tell
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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