in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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