My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
