we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
