Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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