i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
