Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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