Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
