am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
