a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
