He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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