Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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