He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
