i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
