Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
