I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
