I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Congratulations! We have a period
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