i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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