You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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