One girl and one boy is just not enough.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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