my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize