Whod you bang
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
