I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
