i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
