Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
