hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
