I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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