i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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