Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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