totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Never underestimate the power of titties
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
