So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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