This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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