I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
