I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
