The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
