If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
