Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
