i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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