We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
