I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
