does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
