A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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