Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
