airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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