Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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