She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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