Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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