"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
