I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
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he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
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I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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