I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
