Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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