It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
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All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
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Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad