hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
