Please don't use social media to get back at me.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
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Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
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Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?